Our homes manifest the law of entropy. The moment we get the clothes washed, dried, folded, and put away, and kids’ things picked up off the floor, everything gets messy again. A few people I know (like my wife) can’t rest until their homes are clean, neat and well organized. Many of us (me included) look at home cleaning chores somewhat resentfully, wishing they would somehow take care of themselves and leave us alone.
Lawyers and the many other people who work in offices all day solving other people’s problems come home feeling worn and depleted. They want to rest and they want to be soothed. The last thing they want to do is some type of chore, which means the dishes remain piled up in the sink, the high stack of unpaid bills on the desk leans like the Tower of Pisa and the dust balls move across the floor like tumbleweeds. Various people soothe themselves in different ways. Some go to Happy Hour. Some go home and drink wine. Some flop on the couch, turn on the TV and channel surf. All of those things seem so much better than doing those damned dishes.
There are several draw backs to this mode of living. One is that clutter catches up with us and eventually the house resembles a jungle. Just looking at the clutter adds to your stress. If your spouse does all the cleaning, you can count on him or her using the death stare if you seek affection. Guzzling alcohol or being a couch potato does not relieve the stress you accumulate at the office in a healthy way which leaves you with greater mental clarity, energy and zest. Thirdly, these modes of self-soothing deprive you of contact with the joy of living that comes from being truly present and mindful.
Thich Nhat Hanh put it best in The Miracle of Mindfulness when he said:
“To my mind, the idea that doing dishes is unpleasant can occur only when you aren’t doing them…I enjoy taking my time with each dish, being fully aware of the dish, the water, and each movement of my hands. I know that if I hurry in order to eat dessert sooner, the time of washing dishes will be unpleasant and not worth living. That would be a pity, for each minute, each second of life is a miracle.”
Tonight when you get home wash the dishes mindfully in the meditative spirit discussed by Thich Nhat Hanh and see what happens. You can always go back to the wine or TV, but you may find you don’t even need them. You may find that you want to read a good book, take a walk, hang out with your kids or spend some face time with your spouse really listening to what his or her day was like. Sit quietly. Take a deep breath. Imagine it. Do it.
Tags: Mindfulness, Stress Management